IFS + EMDR: Why I Use Them Together

You are not one uniform self. There’s the part of you that snaps, the part that people-pleases, the part that’s bone-tired, the part that keeps everyone’s schedule in her head. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a way of working with those parts — and paired with EMDR, it’s some of the most effective work I do.

What IFS is

IFS sees the mind as made up of “parts,” each carrying a role it took on to protect you. The part that’s hyper-independent, the part that rages, the part that keeps you small — none of them are the enemy. They’re protectors that learned their jobs a long time ago.

Why pair it with EMDR

IFS helps us build a compassionate relationship with the parts carrying old pain, so that when we bring EMDR in to reprocess the underlying memories, it’s gentler and less flooding. IFS holds the “who,” EMDR moves the “what.” Together they reach what neither quite reaches alone.

What it feels like

Less like being taken apart, more like finally understanding why you do what you do — and helping the exhausted parts of you finally put their burdens down. And yes, there’s room for laughter along the way; I find it therapeutic in its own right.